I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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