Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
