I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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