What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
