Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
