his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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