Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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