I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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