There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
