They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
