i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
