i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
