I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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