i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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