We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
