Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
