i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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