dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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