and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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