Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
