is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
