He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need a beard to bite.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
