life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
