What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
