wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
