STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
