Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
my liver is dry heaving
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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