Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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