I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
