i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You need a sexual gate keeper
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
