Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
