problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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