Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
