Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
