you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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