I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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