You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
