If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
