On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
