It's Friday. Sex?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
