For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
