fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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