he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
