I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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