the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
