he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this boner is exhausting
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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