Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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