areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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