Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm both gender and math confused
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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