I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
