I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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