That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
