I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Randomize
