Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
